Sometimes
everybody hurts
everybody cries
sometimes
sometimes it's all we need
to curl up in a ball
with one big giant brownie
covered with tears we bawl
sometimes i wanna go back
but at the same time I know
It's how i got right here
and I don't want to let go
sometimes i forget my life is good
til I turn around to see
half of him and half of me
and that is everything I need
sometimes i think of when he'll die
he's close and we can't lie
I'll take all that I can get
so I won't regret goodbye
sometimes he tells us when he goes
that he won't feel a thing
he swears it will be painless
don't worry bout a thing
and i know, he don't want us to cry
he'll want us to rejoice
he knows he's gonna die
we'll want to hear his voice...one more time
I'll want just one more cigarette
sitting with him out back
with the heater set high
with one more joke to crack
I'll want just one more story
no matter how many I get
everybody knows
that they will all regret
all the things they knew
and now all that they plead
is one more everything
with you that they'll need
one day, there will be a last time
we won't know when it comes
but i'll damn well love mine
as I hope does everyone
I'll smoke a million cigarettes
I'll see him every chance I get
and then maybe I won't have so much
maybe i won't regret
I'll tell my son how much he loved him
and how he loved him so much back
hope he stays here long enough
that he'll remember that
some day
everyone will hurt
everyone will cry
some day
who all will say goodbye?
And God I pray I'm not there
Or maybe pray I am
I know either way we'll have lost
a most amazing man
I swear his heart just grew too big
It's filled with too much love
but all that love will fit there
and more when he's above
but aren't we all so selfish
we want him here forever
he says he feels just fine
he knows he'll go whenever
that day
everyone will hurt
more than they can cry
tears will flood the city
no eyes will be dry
but today
everything is fine
he's sitting on the porch
saying will you be mine
and one more note before i go
I feel I can't forget
to mention not long after
Gram will go I bet
They love each other too much
heartbreak kills the best
so much love will leave the earth
when they lay to rest
Do I need to say it one more time
I don't think I do
but in case you should forget
know that I love you two

They came in riding on creatures unknown,
speaking in tongues I couldn’t understand.
Shedding blood for reasons Ina* said I couldn’t comprehend.

Stealing away our newfound victory,
They broke our sacred bridge of freedom effortlessly.
Built from the blood and tears of my people.
Soon, I could not find my little brown brothers

I heard the vicious cries from the women of the tribes.
Crying out, begging for mercy.
An escape from the newly built fence,
formed by the red stripes of dominance and barb wire.
Soon, I could not find my little brown brothers

I saw a flag, waving in the stale air.
From where I stand, I cannot tell whose it was.
Ina said there were white stars gleaming on blue,
yet all I saw was a mesh of stripes.
Soon I could not find my little brown brothers.

Spewing its potent contents over us,
The melting pot called our names.
Smothering us in foreign beliefs,
I could no longer see myself.
ito natakot ako**,
I knew this couldn’t go on any longer.
Soon I could not find my little brown brothers.

Mother, Mother! I cried.
Staring blankly at me, I called out once more.
Mother! Why won’t you answer me?
Hindi ko maunawaan kung ano ang sinasabi mo!***
Soon I could not find my little brown brothers

Venimos en paz! **** Screamed the controllers,
waving their flag with pride.
América le ha traído la justicia de los españoles!******
Finally, I understood that the Spanish were back.



* Mother
** It scared me
*** I don’t understand what you’re saying
**** we come in peace
******america has brought you justice from the spanish

I sent a message out in a bottle today.
In three simple words,
I summed myself up.
They rolled off my tongue;
Now they roll within the waves.

Oh Ocean, please be gentle with my soul.
I gave you all of me.
You may share if you want,
But please don't break me.
I put my life in your tender embrace.

People across the world will wonder who I am.
I wrote who I am.
They read who I am.
Maybe they won't understand.
I scrawled all I could say about myself in three words.


I'm still here.

The only path to sleep, resides inside these keys.
It used to be my pen, but it's not as fast as these.

Just a few words and the voices grow dim.
Like the last drip sliding down the overflow that are my thoughts.
Release just enough to allow for quiet. For a while.

I don't know what it means that it's been so long since I've written.
Denial. Most likely.

Trying to be someone I'm not will not change who I am.
Or what I feel.
Or think.

It doesn't matter how much I want to be the one I see in my head.
The mirror doesn't lie.
My eyes do.

I've spent my entire life dreaming of getting out.
I never thought about what I'd do when I was free.

Like a caged animal, with the gate finally open,
I'm afraid to leave what I know.

So I won't yet. I'll watch. I'll wait.
I'll explore as I so feel the need.
And I will write.

As we march to battle we remember our friends
Those who lived and those who died
We fight for our wives
Who love and care
And we fight for our country
Our freedom and land

But no great good can amend blood
Even once our swords are dull and rusty
We shall never rest easy
Knowing we spilled so much blood

Aching
Twisting
Wrenching
Heart falling through my chest
Crying
Writhing
Screaming
Dragged up on to my feet
Sitting
Watching
Hurting
I thought I felt anger
But what
I felt
was fear
Fear of not having you

This isn’t fair.
This is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives together.
We got married in July, then the unthinkable happened to us; we found out we were having a baby.
Then our downfall started.
You lost your job, and there was only myself working at a dead end job. Making 7.40 an hour, at 20 hours a week and that was if I was lucky.
We had to go on state aid because we were not sure if we were going to make it.
We found out we have to move out of our first home together, because of mold. And now we are struggling to find a place.
We didn’t think things could get worse. But on this day we found out that my blood work came back high risk for Down Syndrome.
Our world came crashing down.
CJ is our light, this baby made us alive again. We already love this baby so much.
I blame myself, my first trimester I wasn’t able to take my vitamins. They made me so sick. I try to eat healthy, but sometimes I do slip. I don’t drink; I avoid all types of smoke. Was I overcautious?
I feel so alone; I wish I could talk to my mom. Just lay my head on her lap and cry. But it’s no use, she’s eight hours away.
My husband is away at work, I don’t think he can handle it either. I know I can’t.
Our good news is now waiting; our healthy baby may or may not be healthy after 2-weeks.

What of maps?
One day without blue
When stolid me is stolid you
Moving slow, integral sweep
To hatch a cantilevered scheme
And we with our wide eyed approach
May opt to steadily careen
With our mouths holding
A final question
What do we do when nothing happens?